i changed blogs again…
i am now OFFICIALLY
i am so utterly sick of complaining. But I feel as though I really have nothing good to say.
Everything I dreamt college to be turned out completely false. university people are generally pretentious little bitches. they think they’re so much more intelligent than the average blue collar worker. that insults me SO MUCH.
i don’t know why i take it so personally, especially since i’ve always been generally middle class. But the fact that all these other middle to upper class people think that they are so much better than the lower class really REALLY pisses me off. some people choose not to have an education. some people need to work in order to eat.
and anyone can open a book and read about karl marx. anyone can be a poli sci major and learn about this theory and that. frankly it should be an insult that you need assistance through college to get that sort of education and can’t go to a library on your own.
gahhhh that’s my venting for the day. i was skypeing with my dad and let this all out a couple of days ago. i was in near tears with rage of these people i associate myself with. he basically said that i go to a huge school, and am being pretty dang close minded if i think everyone out of a school of 40,000 is as pretentious as i make them out to be. also, people don’t have to think like me. if they think it’s okay to think of themselves as better people than the uneducated, i should let it be, and shouldn’t have it prevent them from being my friend.
he also told me it’ll be like this for the rest of my life, if not worse, so i better get used to it now. i think he’s right. but shoot. i don’t want his advice to be what’s correct in the world.
i sort of had the worst weekend of my life this weekend.
i tried SO HARD becoming friends with people i didn’t even want to be friends with. they gave me the cold shoulder with everything i fucking said. i can handle that, but getting it for 24 hours straight blows.
which made me realize, with whatever group of friends i may have in the future, and with whatever friends i have back at home, i’m going to make an extreme effort to be open to new people. i’m going to ask random people i find to be cool to come get coffee with us or for a bite to eat. i’m not gonna hesitate in asking strangers to hang out with us. they may turn out to be great people (although right now i’m a complete pessimist and think all strangers fucking suck). i’m going to explain our inside jokes when they come up to the new people and invite them to places we go to consistently. they will never feel left out even if they don’t know me or my friends that well.
because now that i know how much it sucks, the more i want to change it.i mean it sucks for me, but other people that are nicer than me certainly don’t deserve to be treated the way i have been lately.
i just typed so much.
work out time! then coffee time!
My goodness I drank far too much coffee today.
And not to mention the food I take isn’t healthy…at all. Hellllloooo fat Lindsey.
But cafe’s most certainly are my weaknesses.
There are two things I decided today:
What good is anything in the universe if it’s enjoyed alone? My poetry is useless because no one reads it. Food can’t be as delicious if I have no one to talk about how delicious it is. Everything is pointless when you have no one to share, or rather, no one to enjoy it with.
Walt Whitman is a boyfriend I keep trying to break up with. Whenever I’m about to break up with him, he gives me a giant bouquet of roses and I feel too guilty to break it off. I feel unhappily trapped with his poetry.
I’m quite hungry. I’m so sick of dorm food though! It’s to the point where I feel nauseous when I’m just walking through the dining halls. So! I’m going to get pho. I’ve been craving it for the past week or so. Times like these is when I really miss Sandra or Joey.
I could always call them up and force them to eat yummy food with me. But c’est la vie.
I’m here now and not about to go back! So I’m going to go sit alone in the Pho restaurant! And it won’t be that bad, right? I’ve seen other people do it.
I could invite one of my housemates, but ugh, she bugs me. A lot. So forget it, I’m going alone!
Hopefully I’ll meet someone there.
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there’s so much i want to say, and i never have the words to say it!
i’m sick of saying i’m lonely. so tomorrow i’m taking initiative and talking to someone i think will be cool! maybe even ask them for a facebook name. :P
i’ve also decided i hate college people. they’re too pretentious and i’m looking forward to graduating.
oh, and it’s now february 5th! this means i’ve gone 5 days passed texting him! i promised myself not to talk to that jerk for a whole month, and now, five days exceeding my promise, i find no point to talk to him!
it’s funny how you long for the ones that hurt you the most.
question: when are kitties NOT cute?
answer: i hate you for asking that.
i wanna make out with the iranian girl i met today.
i wanna make out with anything, really. but especially her!
I got absolutely soaked today. it’s been sunny the past week! and now all of a sudden it decides to pour?! wtf seattle?!
anyways the guy i met yesterday told me about a cafe he thought i’d like. it’s in an alley! and i guess you go up a bunch of stairs into nowhere land until you get there. i’m so excited to search for it. which is what i’m going to do….as soon as i change out of my wet clothes. :-/
i met a really cool guy today.
the bus we were waiting for broke down. he asked me where i was heading and i said u-district. turns out he was headed there too. he saw i was cold so he asked me to walk with him to the next bus stop to stay warm so i did. then we walked to the next bus stop and the next. we talked and talked and walked loads. it was nice being able to talk to someone.
i can go a full day here without ever having a conversation with someone, which really sucks.
then we sat next to each other on the bus. he likes art and i like to write. he told me about a poet he liked and i told him of an artist i liked.
my stop came, and i left the bus, wishing we had asked me for my number or something. i hate that.
i’ll probably never see him again.
that happened this weekend too, with a guy named evan. he and i hit it off SO WELL.
i’m not even asking for them to take me on a date. i only want a friend. i only want someone to hang out with.
i guess i’m too traditional to ask someone for their number, and it’ll definitely look like i’m hitting on someone if i do so, but i may just have to the next time this happens, because i’m sick of loosing contact with people i meet that are super cool.
but really, what’s wrong with me? why won’t these people ask me for my dang number?!
Guys are shy too believe it or not. If you would of given me your number or asked for mine in those situations I would have been stoked. Be free and just do it girl! I believe in you.
Guhhhhhhh It’s too scary john! what if they’re like “i don’t want to give you my number. you seem creepy.” haha. did i “reblog” correctly? meh oh well.
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